FULLNESS in emptiness

‘What is it Lord to just trust you’..when all that was hoped to be just crumbles down , when  people you love hurt you, when time seems to be running ahead of you, when it seems so hard to smile.                                                                                                                                                       

When all that rejection and pain are like thousand knives piercing into the heart, what can I do but just lay there and let those stabs be?   There have been times I have closed my eyes hoping to see a miracle when I open them, but I didn’t get it..But I don’t get it because His thoughts and ways are not like ours, they are great that our worldly minds can never perceive.

When sorrow overcomes life, I have always wanted to be in my own garden of Gethsemane where I can pour out to my Heavenly Father and have angels to strengthen me..but not always do we get to find a cave to take refuge in. That doesn’t leave us without a place to rest..we always have our hiding place in Christ, where the Holy Spirit gives us strength and thirst to drink that cup and say  ‘Let your will be done .’

When we hide in our Christ  we start knowing that the relief and healing we get in our hearts, when He removes those knives is beautiful and  we see that the points that were pierced was that pride, jealousy, self-centered, hatred and all those things that made us less like Christ. He  lets it be pierced and heals those wounds by giving us part of His heart..

And yes He definitely knows better than anyone the pain you go through because He went through it,  not with reason to suffer but a choice He made to keep us in His arms forever.

God will help us to look at Him and see that we don’t need answers to all our doubts, but that His powerful love with grace fills every emptiness in us. He is our fullness..we may have nothing yet we posses every thing..because of Him.

The ridden colt

How i long my Heavenly Father to walk with Your voice, let everything that submerges your voice be torn away from me, that rip may hurt my flesh but You oh Spirit will heal that wound and show me the greater things.

Oh Father let me be Your colt, just waiting to seat You on me and fulfill this purpose You lovingly showed me. As i walk in through the city gates let not one notice this colt but You alone!

Thank You my Father for that armour which i could never afford or deserve..
i will run to proclaim this truth fastened  to me as my feet readily not tiring;
 i will put on your righteousness that will not any guilt pierce my heart;
 i will tighten your salvation that will cause the enemy's strategies to be in vain.
 i will let faith be firm before me to hinder those flaming arrows,
and i will gently put to use that precious sword,
with wisdom You instruct me to use.

Even though my armour may taint with scratches, through this journey i know Your love will sustain me forever.. because i am Your colt that You keep perfecting as Your precious.

Broken to fix

Lord what will i do with this broken heart, it gets broken again and again.
The pain that seems to rip me apart, the smallest of breezes crushes me..

My Lord i know of only You who will love a broken heart and mend it with your perfecting of details,
 i know of only One who would keep the pieces that was leftover..

i love to know that i have One who understands even when i don't understand..
i love the Only One, the most precious of my life..

My God, Your love makes me whole.

Becoming slow to anger

Anger, an emotion considered as a strength in this world because of the power it seems to add in a person. But what really is a strength is being able to become slow to anger.

‘An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot tempered one commits many sins.’  -Proverbs  29:22

The outburst of anger will always lead to a painful consequence for someone. The fear caused to someone else because of your anger is not something to be proud of, there is some peace lost there.

Short and bad temper has put me in many sorry states from childhood, shouting at people, kicking walls, throwing things used to be my common acts then. Never realized I was a prey of uncontrolled anger.

As years passed by realised showing out anger always wasn’t a very good thing, slowly i started taking off  temper with pens by scribbling on paper till the scribbling tore it.

After I became a Christian, I started realising my issues with anger. Started learning from my mistakes and slowly i stopped reacting less in temper, and sure enough my friends noticed it too eventually.

‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for mans anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.’

 -James 1:19,20

Then becoming slow to anger became an easier thing with the help of the Holy Sprit.

As I moved on, God’s plan in my life needed me to go through little wildernesses here and there, something we all go through by which God  teaches a lot to us.

Anger, something I thought i had learned to be slow at..started taking over my life that I found it better that I never existed.. not able to accept life for the way it is, I started getting angry with God. This anger grew that I wasn’t able to pray well, even thank God. This continued that I would talk to God with anger and end every conversation asking Him to strike me with thunder.

But like His word tells us nothing can separate us from His love, my anger wouldn’t stop His love for me. The devil used this opportunity to grow guilt with thoughts that I have sinned beyond limits and so never can be a faithful servant of God again.

But the Holy Spirit caused me to confess and get help. Repentance and prayer backed with the word of God showed me that God loves me so much that my iniquities were overlooked, what Jesus Christ did for us is to get us back in His hands and He would never let us out of His sight..

We may have to go through those wilderness which will lead us to our real home, where we long to be. Strength may seem to fail as you walk through that heat, but we are not out of His sight, we have His shoulder to lean on, His cup that never goes dry and best of all His love that never fails.

‘And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.’ 

- Philippians 1:9-11